Tag psychologist

Acceptance brings peace inside You! It helps in preventing the emotional damages. When the practicality is accepted, it is easy to undergo any phase of challenging situations in life.

A phrase goes, “Expectation Hurts.” An intriguing psychological lesson came from an old Tamil (one of the oldest languages in the world and a regional language of southern India) film. I saw it twenty years ago. It reads, “Depression is caused by unrealistic expectations from the wrong people or places.”

Accepting the reality is wise. Expecting the practicality is wiser.

Resilience and balance are aided by “psychological flexibility.” A basic comprehension of this idea can help someone act and think more effectively in any circumstance.

Psychological Flexibility could be reflected by how a person:

1. Adapts to fluctuating situational demands
2. Reconfigures mental resources
3. Shifts perspective
4. Balances competing desires, needs, and life domains.

From my understanding Acceptance or Flexibility are fundamental aspect of Mental Wellness. It is a protective shield when we deal with any challenging phases of life. A research in 2011 says “When experiencing stressful life events psychological flexibility is protective against negative feelings and can promote positive mental health”.

In 2017, another research says that psychological flexibility can act as a buffer between stress and negative psychological outcomes. Psychological Flexibility is the core concept of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy – ACT.

Psychological Flexibility promotes emotional equilibrium and creates space for deliberate action rather than emotions in a reactive setting. When a person is psychologically flexible, their decisions are based more on their long-term values than on their current feelings.

Psychological acceptance can fill up some gaps for a more psychologically flexible personality. Acceptance entails accepting a situation as it is and not focusing on why it shouldn’t be that way. With this attitude, we are able to let go of feelings of guilt or unfairness as well as the frequently harsh judgments of ourselves.

How to develop psychological flexibility

1. The Psychological Flexibility Model.
2. Present moment: Live in the “now”.
3. Acceptance: Embracing your thoughts.
4. Values: Staying true to yourself.
5. Cognitive Defusion: Separate yourself from your thoughts.
6. Self-as-context: Practice mindful reframing.

What are the benefits of Psychological Flexibility?

1. Helps to take proactive decision instead of reactive.
2. Balanced Emotions
3. Emotional Resilience
4. Stress Free and reduced anxiety & depression
5. Better Inter-personal relationships.
6. Promotes Healthy Behavioral Changes
7. Improved Coping mechanism
8. Keeps Focused despite setbacks and challenges

According to Bond in 2011, “Psychological Inflexibility” is defined as “the rigid dominance of psychological reactions over chosen values and contingencies in guiding action”

What are the effects of Psychological Inflexibility?

1. Behavioral Issues
2. Lack of values
3. Persistent inaction and avoidance
4. Attachment to conceptualized self.
5. Weak Self Knowledge

A necessary acquired talent to handle any stressful event in life is psychological flexibility. A person can live happily and with a greater grasp of world events by learning and using this ability. The individual may be in a better position to comprehend themselves and others as a result.

Being flexible is not naïve!

How we accept other people and our circumstances determines how happy we are. Your happiness shouldn’t, in any event, be dependent on other people. Life will be beautiful if you learn to accept other people as they are and to be flexible in even the most trying circumstances.

Wishing you all a happy and stress-free life.

In Gratitude,

N.R.Rakesh Babu
Psychologist | Doctoral Researcher
www.rakeshbabu.com | www.rbac.in

#Possessiveness is a #Poison of the #Mind!

It is not just poison, it is a #pain too. Experts says that Possessiveness is due to unrealistic expectations.

This happens with people, money, things etc., It becomes danger when it crosses the boundary in relationships. Relationships may be between parents and children, life partners, friends, office colleagues. At some point, the “so called” CARE will change into “Over Protectiveness”. This will be a real torture to the partner.

Possessiveness is kind of a mental pressure that the person encounters and also radiate it to the counterparts. It is a fear of loss of belongings, persons etc., This creates fear, anger, anxiety and loneliness.

Trust is a vital aspect of a healthy relationship. In order to trust, you must feel your partner is reliable, cares about you, and can be counted on. You can see abusive relationship when the partner lose the trust. They feel insecured.

In the name of love and care, they do overprotection!

✍️ Few Signs of Possessiveness:

• Monitor your phone and emails.
• Tell what to wear.
• Text you nonstop.
• Control you and rob your privacy.
• Gaslight you.
• Stop you talk to your friends.
• They will be jealous
• In the name of protection, they will restrict you from being connected to the social network.

It is imperative to understand that the partner is possessive at early stage. Talk to them that it is not good for the relationship. It will ruin the happiness in between them. It will affect physically, mentally and emotionally.

It will reduce the self-esteem, confidence, trust.

Possessiveness is not love, it is simply projected fear and insecurity.

Either, they can sit and talk about this to overcome this issue. Else, they need strong support from a Psychological Consultant.

Some may ask, how come a third person can help them in such issues. It is similar to a patient approaches doctors for their health issues.

Licensed or Authorized and Competent #Psychologists, #Therapists, #Relationship #healers can certainly help them when they themselves are unable to deal with this problem.

✍️ How to deal the possessive partner?

• Love them and give little extra care
• Listen to what they say and address the problem
• When they want to talk to you, be available for them.
• Communicate properly and set proper, realistic goals.
• Don’t argue or justify for what you have done.

Appreciating your comments on this topic.

Disclaimer: Image source – Workplace Mental Health Institute. With gratitude, sharing the image for knowledge sharing.

In Gratitude,

N.R.Rakesh Babu
Psychologist | Doctoral Researcher
www.rakeshbabu.com | www.rbac.in

Think….Think….Think…and over a period it will become overthinking. Overthinking causes unnecessary stress. It is not a good habit to possess. You can observe your thoughts clearly when you remain calm.

If you are thinking more than 10 to 15 minutes, it will be about the past happenings or the future or upcoming events. Beauty on overthinking is, you will dwell in the past or future and will not come to the present.

Actually the calmness and steadiness will be in the present and not in past or future. The more you dwell in past or future, observe your breath. It will be restless and will be in abnormal rhythm. This is not good for health. It will create multiple physical and psychological issues.

At this time, you will be emotionally weak. Your decision making will be poor. Thoughts will be like ripples of water when stone is thrown on it. Overthinking will rob your happiness and thoughts will be distorted. Instead of solving the issues, your mind will be wavering. You will become a fearmonger of your own self.

In one of the life skill classes, my mentor taught me that:

Past is like broken glass pot – You cannot fix the broken pot

Future is like cat on the wall – you don’t know where this cat will fall from the wall.

Present is the treasure. – It is right there with you – “The Now” moment.

An easy tip for you to bring yourself back to the present moment is through your breath. Observe your breath. Take few long deep breaths. Settle down and slowly come back to the present moment. It will be challenging while you start practicing. However, it will become a habit on regular practice.

Few things are out of your control and few are in your control. When you understand these TWO differences, life will be easy and it will prevent from overthinking.

Things that you cannot control:

• The past, future and it’s occurrences.
• You cannot control what others are thinking about you or their opinions.
• Similarly, you cannot control their actions.
• Whatever is happening around you.
• Obviously the results of your efforts.

Things that You can control:

• Your boundaries as where to pitch in and where you should not poke your nose.
• Your thoughts and actions.
• Your goals and objectives.
• Where you should channelize your energy.
• How you should interact with yourSELF.
• How do you handles your challenges.

Without having awareness on what you can and cannot control, you will end up in overthinking and your energy will get drained unnecessarily.

Wake up; Shake Up. Be with people who can uplift you morally even in crisis. Surround with positively interacting communities who can see your elevation. Do not do or think anything that harm your mental wellness. Be happy with what you have and even if you do not have anything, be grateful that you have LIFE with you to live to the fullest.

The entire world is creating emotional pollution by accumulating unwanted thought processes and this is not good for the ecosystem. It is right time that we should be in peace and help others to be in peace.

Let’s live in peace and not rest in peace.

Disclaimer: Image credits to the original creator and I, the author of this article doesn’t claim any credit for the images attached.

In Gratitude,

N.R.Rakesh Babu
Psychologist | Doctoral Researcher
www.rakeshbabu.com | www.rbac.in